5 Steps to Taking Worry Away #worryless #parenting #self-care #children

Do you find that since becoming a parent, you worry more? 

Hi, I'm Anne Alvares, Parent Coach of the Masterful Parenting Program.  And I know worry as a mother of two boys.  I understand it very well.  Many times, I could not sleep until my 18 year old son came home at 3am from work.  I worried when my youngest son wouldn't sleep through the night or refused to sleep in his own bed.  Eventhough, I am a Parent Coach now, I am not absolved from worry.  Today, I am going to give you my 5 steps to keep the worrying at bay and this has made a huge difference in my own mental wellbeing.

1.  Figure out what is in your control and what is not.  If it's in your control, what actions can you take as a precaution.  For example, if your child has eczema, can you research what are the causes and treatments to help your child.  Taking control when you have control is always empowering.  If it's about something that you don't have control over, however, then you need to recognize this and ask yourself: how does worrying help the situation.  What can I do right now to help myself feel better? Take a walk, work out, bake, sew, whatever you enjoy that helps you.  Movement is always good for worry and anxiety.

2. See the big picture.  Now is not forever. When we keep this in mind, we can handle our parenting challenges better.  Our children go through stages and in each stage they are learning and growing. So we have to work on not making a big deal out of something that is not a big deal.  If your child has cheated on a test - it's not the end of the world.  Kids make mistakes.  We all make mistakes.  Is there an opportunity for learning here?  How can we be an instrument for our children's learning instead of worrying and making them feel bad about themselves.  When our children can make mistakes, learn from them and know they are loved regardless of what they did, this empowers them to grow and live their dreams.

3. Self Care is important in dealing with worry.  When we feel good, we are more optimistic and can handle challenges better,  I believe parents need a daily practice of self care.  Whether you take a nap to recharge, have an evening cocktail to celebrate you made it through tough day (I'm not encouraging daily drinking), read a good book, go for a pilates class or a walk or run, or have a get together with friends.  Everyday, parents need to give themselves a dose of self care.

4. Find out more.  If you are worried about who your teenager is hanging out with, or what your child is doing after school, you can ask questions.  You need enough information to ease your mind. I think it's important to tell you child, "I love you but I worry when .  . .(I don't know where you are going, if you don't answer your cellphone, if I don't know the friends you are hanging out with).   Your questions are valid and questioning is part of our job as parents.  When your child answers, understands and will explain, then you no longer have to worry.

5. Pray/Pause/Meditate.  When you have no control over what is happening with your kids, you can breathe and pause and trust in the universe's protection.  Meditate on positive thoughts.  Believe in your children's protection and trust in this.  When you build trust in the good things that are meant for you, then you worry less.