How Does Your Own Childhood Experience Get in the Way of Your Parenting? #parenting #overprotective #trauma #toxicrelationships #masterfulparenting

 

  1. Do you sometimes feel like your own childhood experiences are getting in the way of your parenting today? 


  3. Perhaps, you had very overprotective parents who raised you with fear, or maybe your parents had unrealistic expectations and you always felt whatever you did wasn’t good enough.  Or perhaps you experienced toxic relationships where you didn’t feel safe. 


  5. Whatever your story is, your childhood experiences can get in the way of becoming the parent you want to be and the one your child needs.  Hi, I’m Anne Alvares, Parent Coach of the Masterful Parenting Program. 


  7. I understand how childhood experiences can affect your parenting.  I was raised by very authoritative parents, where we were seen but not heard.  And the messaging was always, “You need to respect me,” no matter what.  In my own parenting, I have struggled with this idea of children needing to respect their parents.  So, on one occasion, my oldest son decided not to listen to me.  He was 10 years old at the time and he was really attached to this shirt that had holes in it.  I didn’t mind him wearing it at home but I told him to change before going out and I was very insistent about this.  So, he went up reluctantly to his room and put another shirt on and headed out with his dad.  Later that day, he called me and said, “Mom, I’m still wearing the shirt with the holes.  Haha.”  Of course, I was mad.  How dare he disrepect me!  This was my thinking.  And I was really bothered by his defiance.  Should I ground him?  My thinking was so irrational and not relational which now I know is where my thinking should have been. 


  9. Before reacting, I confided in a good friend and colleague who was the parent of three girls.  After telling him my story, my friend told me to have a conversation with my son to find out his reason for wearing the shirt after I asked him not to.  So, I did.  And I learned something that day.  I learned it wasn’t about disrespecting me.  It was about learning to listen to himself.  So, there was no grounding or punishment.  Instead, there was understanding and my own epiphany that he needed to be heard.  And isn't this what we want for our children to learn to listen to their own voice and


  11. I invite you to comment and share how your own childhood experiences have affected your parenting.  And if you want to learn more about the Masterful Parenting Program, please connect and I will be happy to meet with you. 


 

 

 

 

 

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