Masterful Parenting

Do you sometimes feel overprotective and fearful in your parenting role ?  Does your fear get in the way of your relationship with your child ?  If this is you, be assured, you are not alone .  Hi, I’m Anne Alvares, Parenting Coach of Masterful Parenting .  I am also the parent of two boys and I understand fear in parenting .  When my oldest son was 16 years old, he told me that he was planning to go on a bike trip with his friend, on a ferry, just the two of them .  My immediate reaction was fear and I imagined all the bad things that could happen to them .  And yes, I told my son I didn’t think it was a good idea .  Not something I would recommend now as a Parenting Coach .  But what scared me more was what my son told me next .  He said that he thought I wouldn’t approve and he was thinking he would go without telling me .  My heart hurt .  I said to him, never keep information from me, please .  I could never f...

  What does it mean to leave a legacy? What kind of legacy was left to you by your parents or grandparents ?  The Oxford dictionary defines legacy in two ways: first, leaving money or property to someone in a will and second, a person’s life having a long-lasting impact .   And it’s the second definition that can apply to all parents, regardless of our situation .  The notion of legacy first came to me when I read the book, Poverty, Riches and Wealth by Kris Vollotton .  Now I picked up the book so I could work on my mindset about money .  However, Kris Vollotton , brought up the biblical idea of building a legacy not just for our children but also for our children's children .  I’ve been thinking about how we can leave a legacy as parents .  When we thi nk of ourse lves as legacy builders, people who have long lasting i mpact, on our children and children’s children, our parenting changes .   W e no longer get irritated by a messy roo...

 As a school counsellor, I have worked with many parents to help them own their power as parents and connect with their teenagers.  Many times, parents come to me to "fix" their teen and "solve" their teen's problems.  They ask me to talk to them and tell them what they should be doing.  This is really an outdated and ineffective way of dealing with our kids.  Instead, we should be practicing relational parenting .  This style of parenting feels good and is much more effective in getting our kids to feel supported and to make good decisions. For many parents, it is difficult to remember to be relational because we get caught up in fear. Our fear stops us from really hearing our kids. If we want to be effective parents, we need to focus on loving our children and not on the fear we feel.  Here is a simple way to build relationship, problem solve with your child, and reduce our fears.  It's call Ask, Listen, Question, and Respond. 1. ASK Ask your ch...